Does a coach tell me what to do?

Unlike the image many people have of a football or basketball coach shouting at the sidelines telling players what to do, personal coaches don’t operate that way.  A personal coach is more similar to a tennis or golf coach or a voice or performance coach who works one on one with a client to help them become the best they can be with regard to their performance.  Personal coaches listen, watch intently, ask thought provoking questions and provide objective feedback.  We work with you  to help bring out your unique talents and qualities as well as tap into your innate abilities, creativity, and resourcefulness.  We serve as an objective set of eyes and ears who can reflect back what we see and hear in a way that can help you re-frame and see things in a different light.  A personal coach supports you in the way or ways that is most helpful to you in achieving your goals.  We provide insight, support, and accountability in a way that few people are likely to receive from others in their life.

How can you coach me if you don’t know my business?

Coaching is not the same as teaching you a specific skill set such as accounting or engineering or nursing.  Coaches can, however, help you sort out whether the obstacles in the path to your goals is caused by a lack of a specific skill or the myriad of other things that tend to slow us down or block our path to our goals.  In my many years of working with people to help them achieve their goals, it’s rarely the “technical” skill that hampers their progress.   (And if it does, that’s usually fairly easy to fix.)  More often, we are blocked by our own thoughts, fears, beliefs and limited thinking.  Or hampered by a disconnect to our deepest values and longings.  Our moods, emotions or fluctuating energy can be working against us.  For most of us, these kinds of things are very difficult for us to see in ourselves.  Or we may see them but take them for granted as just the way things are.  A coach can help you see the things you can’t see on your own as well as work with you to develop new habits, practices and solutions that help supercharge your ability to reach your goals and create the kind of life and work you dream about.

I'm pretty happy with my performance at work but I feel like it's at the expense of my health and my life.  How can a coach help me?

Coaches help people attain the goals they most desire.  In today's 24/7 world, our careers are more like a marathon than a series of sprints and our work/life habits need to reflect that to be truly successful over time. We frequently work with people who are performing very well but do not have a sustainable system in place to do so.  We help you look at your life and work in a holistic fashion to identify the areas where change can not only help you live a healthier, more satisfying life but can  help you perform even better over the long haul. 

I already beat myself up over not getting things done.  Would a coach beat me up even more?

Although it may seem counter-intuitive, beating yourself up is not the best path to success. Studies have shown that top performing athletes, performers and business people have an amazing capacity to focus on the task at hand without passing judgment or beating themselves up for mistakes.  A coach provides the kind of support you need to succeed.  For some of us that means providing strong accountability or the kind of candid feedback that others are reluctant to give.  But others of us need a coach’s support to remind us to go easy on ourselves and quiet the overly critical voice in our head that makes it difficult to do our best by staying present in the moment .  Because coaching is a partnership with your success as its goal, you and your coach work together to design the best kind of support for you.  The nature of support can also change over time as the situation or your needs require. 

Isn’t coaching just for people who have big problems?

Absolutely not.  Nearly all of us can benefit from working with a coach. Coaching is not about “fixing” people.  People are naturally creative and resourceful and most of us barely use the capability we already possess.  The vast majority of top performing people in athletics, performance, and business use coaches to continually improve their performance.  People in all walks of life are discovering that whether it’s working through a difficult decision, improving their effectiveness on the job, avoiding burnout, developing more satisfying relationships, achieving a lifelong dream or challenging goal, or creating a happier, more fulfilling life a coach can help them achieve their goals and achieve them more quickly.

Is a coach the same as a psychotherapist or psychologist?

No.  In general, psychological therapy focuses on understanding and healing issues from the past.  Coaching focuses on what can be done today to move forward to achieve your goals.  Therapy often takes people from a negative to a neutral state whereas coaching takes people from a neutral or positive to a more positive state.  Coaches form a partnership with their clients where clients play an active role in achieving their goals versus the doctor/expert role of a therapist.  Coaching does not deal with serious biochemical based psychological disturbances and is not a substitute for receiving medical care for these kinds of conditions.

I usually consult friends and family when I need support.  Why would I pay for a coach?

If you’re one of the lucky few whose friends or family members have the time and the ability to remain objective while providing support that’s fabulous.  But many people report that friends and family have their own agendas—which aren’t always obvious—making it difficult for them to sort out their own thoughts, believes and values.  In addition, with our society’s frantic pace, many people find that even their best friends do not have the time when it’s needed to provide support.  Or that by trying to spread out the burden amongst many friends, feedback becomes fragmented often making the situation even more confusing.  A coach provides continuity, a professional, objective approach and support when you most need it.  If you think about the value to you of achieving your dreams or achieving them sooner, you will find that the benefits of using a coach far outweigh the cost.

I’m afraid that once I hire a coach, that it will just keep going on without end.

A coaching relationship should reflect what you want it to be.  If you're working on a concrete goal or issue, look for a coaching package that goes for a defined period of time and define the goals you want to accomplish in that time.  A good coach will work with you to keep the relationship from getting stale and will check in with you frequently with regard to your satisfaction with your progress.  You may find that after successfully achieving one goal, you want to continue working with your coach on additional goals.  But that should be your choice.  You should never feel pressured to continue.  If you do, talk to your coach about your concern.

I would not want anyone to know that I am working with a coach.  How could this work?

Coaching is completely confidential.  At E. Miakinin Associates, LLC we do not give out your name as a reference nor is your name or information divulged to others without your permission.  Many of our clients choose to meet over the phone which allows you the flexibility to be where you wish during the call without observation of who you're speaking to.  If you have specific concerns, we will work with you to address them before our coaching sessions begin.  Note that more and more leaders and professionals are choosing to work with a coach to take their performance to a higher level and many companies encourage working with a coach.